A lot of people say they hate cats because they think they’re better than humans. But actually they are better than humans and they know it.
1. A cat brings me presents that it caught itself. It’s basically home-made. Better than all that shit from actual shops.
2. A cat sleeps during the day and is awake at night, but doesn’t claim it has insomnia like stupid humans do.
3. You can tell if a cat is happy or pissed off by its tail and purring. I don’t have a fucking clue how humans are feeling most of the time.
4. You know what a cat likes to eat. They are easy to make a meal for, whereas a human might be a vegan or allergic to something.
5. Cats don’t tell stupid pointless uninteresting stories that I couldn’t care less about.
6. Cats dont act like they want to have sex with me and then go and have sex with some douchebag.
7. A cat doesn’t mind if I don’t want to go clubbing and want to stay inside and do fuck all.
8. I could have a wank with the cat in the room and the cat wouldn’t be freaked out or tell anyone.
9. A cat will happily sleep in the same bed as me.
10. It’s not as fun if I wave a piece of string in front of a human.
